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How do you bathe

Showering is one of those things you probably do every day without giving it much thought. And if you’re like me, you likely assume most everyone showers in roughly the same fashion – get in, wash your body, get out, towel off, etc. – how much variation could there be?

As I’ve learned on the Thursday edition of my twice-a-week-podcast (Monday is an interview and Thursday is a day that’s been dubbed by fans, “The Seinfeld of Podcasts.” We dig into important stuff like showering and other bathroom habits, whether blueberries are actually blue, if a “butter sandwich” exists, what to do when you start choking on your own saliva in the middle of a musical, etc.) there’s actually a lot of variation.

Because I’m fascinated by the minutia of life and those things we all do that we do largely alone and so we never know if we do them in the same fashion as others, I thought I’d share with you the findings.

Face the Stream or Away from the Stream?

When I get into the shower I face the stream initially and then at some point I turn around to wet my hair and back. I am, what’s been deemed on the show, a “traveler.” This is how the vast majority of people shower; however, there’s a vocal minority who never face the stream. “But how do they rinse off the front of their body?” you are likely screaming, as was I. They simply lean back so far into the stream that the water pools around their front. This has been dubbed “Fondilering,” after our pal Matt Fondiler who thinks this is the only appropriate way to do things. (He’s wrong.)

Washcloth, Shower Pouf, Loofah or Hands?

I use my hands to wash my body.

I lather them up and then go to town. This is how I thought everyone does it until I began wondering why there was a shower rod in the shower. “But don’t the towels get wet?” I asked, naively. Turns out they’re for washcloths because a lot of people, perhaps you are one of them, use a washcloth to wash in the shower. It’s right in the name. I actually feel a bit of shame over my lack of shower implement; however, I just have no time for poufs and cloths.

Soap or Shower Gel?

I still use bar soap in the shower. I’m delightfully old-fashioned that way but many a person on the show has graduated exclusively to shower gels.

Shall I Shower Squeegee?

This first came up on an episode featuring hilarious David Wain. Turns out he slides the excess water off his body with his hands, using them to make a de facto shower squeegee, before getting out and toweling off.

My producer Gary does this as well. I’d never thought to do this and it sounded like an extraneous step which couldn’t possibly yield very high rewards; however, I’ve recently started doing it and it actually gets rid of quite a bit of water. I recommend it if you want to avoid a sopping bathmat.

Toweling Off Inside or Outside the Shower?

This one’s controversial. I get out of the shower and then quickie wrap a towel around myself and dry off but quite a few people begin drying off in the shower. “But it’s so wet in there!” I said.

I assume they must have large showers or very cold bathrooms because it seems counterintuitive to bring a large fluffy dry towel into the shower itself.

How do you bathe? Let me know @alisonrosen.